Winston in denial

Although his true feelings are against it, bottling up his hatred, Winston tries to make himself believe the the Party slogan. Winston begins to write out on a slate he is given in attempts to believe the slogan in Chapter 4. "He accepted everything. The past was alterable. The past had never been altered... He had never seen the photograph that disapproved their guilt. It had never existed; he had invented it. He remembered

remembering contrary things, but those were false memories, products of self-deception" (page 228). The syntax used in the quote shows his distress with the use of short choppy sentences. He is tryin

g to convince himself that Big Brother is right and he has gone crazy and made everything up in his head. He thought he was

doomed no matter what and to just give up when he found him self shouting Julia over and over and realized that he still hated Big Brother. " He obeyed the Party, but he still hated the Party. In the old days he had hidden a heretical mind beneath an appearance of conformity" (page 231). Winston is feeling a pain of sorrow and anger. He hates the Party and disagrees with them but is unwillingly obeying their rules. He is trying to tel himself to follow their sayings but finds it hard to do so. He finally admits to himself that his new thoughts are wrong and he really does hate Big Brother.